It had to happen sometime, and I did promise that this blog would be honest so here it is, the lows as well as the highs!
I fell off the wagon and ouch, it really bloody hurts! It takes a hell of a lot of determination and hard graft to get fit and lose weight and only a matter of months to undo all the hard work.
My last few blog posts have been about positivity and body confidence, all the things I was feeling at the time. However, I got complacent. I thought ‘fuck it’, I’m feeling confident and the little sassy devil on my shoulder was saying “treat yo’ self, you’ve earned it” life got the better of me and the all inclusive holidays, my birthday and being ill led to a real lack of motivation.
I struggled to find the energy to work out or go to Project6Pack, I’d be tired and hungry after work so then I’d eat whatever I felt like, which is usually bad food, cake, chocolate and chips to name a few. Eating the bad foods made me feel even more lethargic and demotivated. It is a vicious circle I’ll tell you!
On top of it all came a general low mood. That feeling of unhappiness and disappointment, the feeling that I’m not good enough, the feeling of loneliness, the stress of work and all the other little bits that go along with it! It just spirals, uncontrollably until you’re sat there in your bubble, numb from all the thoughts and feelings, wondering why you don’t have your shit together and if it’ll ever happen.
Before I knew it, it was the end of July and my weight had ballooned. My clothes felt tight and I could see that I was losing strength.
Seeing those number on the scales (15stone 7lb) really gave me a kick up the ass! I’d ignored the scales through June and July but stumbled on them last week mainly because my jeans were super tight… no wonder they were tight! I’d put on over a stone!
So here we are now, a week later, still not feeling my best but ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and sort my shit out. I’m going to start with the one thing I can control in the hope that the rest of it will follow and that is my workouts.
I’ve joined a gym for the summer, I’m now a proud member of snap fitness and I have set myself a goal.
I fly to Thailand in 6 weeks so I’ve called it operation Thailand. I will be in the gym 4 times a week, I will get my eating back on track too but that will take a few weeks to wean myself off of the chocolate bars. I have taken body measurements too so that I can track my progress as I know weight isn’t everything. Hopefully as my fitness increases again, my mood will too. I’m not going to get anywhere while I’m struggling to find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
I will be posting updates on my Twitter (@FatGirlFitGuide) and Instagram (@FatGirlGuideToGettingFit) so give me a follow if you want to stay up to date or just cheer me on?
Let’s see how I get on…